So here is the blog post I didn't want to write.

It is with a huge amount of sadness that I've had to step back from my role as technical director at Mud. Since my diagnosis with Sarcoidosis in 2019 I have tried to continue working through what has ultimately been quite a debilitating, idiosyncratic and poorly understood disease. The lung involvement and associated fatigue followed by a series of eye bleeds has meant that I am just not able to continue in a role that demands continual screen use. Nor am I able to reliably support Matt Powell and our wonderful team making the fantastic, rich, engaging and genuinely transformative websites that have become our trademark.

When I first started working with Matt in 2013 I couldn't have imagined the great work we would go on to do together or the wonderful team that we have cultivated.

We've done some amazing and impactful work for clients that really do make a positive change in the world, whether that is advocating against climate change or engaging with rehabilitation in prisons or facilitating disabled users - our truly best work was always when we were helping people to make the world a better, kinder and fairer place for all.

My time at Mud - working alongside Matt - has been an absolute privilege and I can only look back on the past 12 years with immense pride. I thank you Matt for the chance you took on me back then and on being so supportive since my diagnosis. And I am truly sad that I am not able to continue.

So what next?

Well my first priority has to be to try and get on top of my health. Since last year I have been on the immune suppressant Methotrexate to stop my condition worsening. However I am still susceptible to "flare-ups" and attacks to my eyes and chest. And my immune system is still liable to overreact when I get an infection or bug. The hope then with the methotrexate is just that the collateral damage from such bouts will be reduced.

One thing I've learned is that the damp really doesn't help and over the past couple of years it has been inescapable that the wet British winter really wipes me out. But I'm not really in a position to relocate to warmer climes just yet. However if you happen to be reading this and have a summer bolthole that needs a winter caretaker just holler!

In truth I am shitting myself about the future. We have a mortgage to cover and two teenage boys to support. But I am trying to remain upbeat. I am looking to tap into my creative juices more and hope to be doing more drawing, illustrating, writing and painting. Who knows, I might even finish the graphic memoir (Finding Albert) that has been on my "to complete" list for far too long.

And I am always on the look out for "side hustles" so if you can think of any ideas or anyone that needs some art then please do think of me. Even part-time and casual work in the Frome area would be of help.

Plus at almost 50 I like to think I have a fair bit of experience of life, creativity and running a business so am more than happy to offer my expertise and perspective in a consultant or mentor capacity if that is something you need or think you might benefit from.

Otherwise am looking to continue with my voluntary work with the Arts Emergency charity mentoring young creative students from disadvantaged backgrounds. I've also just started voluntary work with Marie Curie UK as a companion for those at end-of-life and with terminal illnesses.

In the meantime if you got this far so many thanks for taking the time to read and thanks in advance for all your wonderful support - whether that is hugs, work, words or just a wry nod.

It really means the world to me, Peta and the boys xxx